A High Price to Pay

A beautiful, tall, young man with the largest, beautiful cock I have ever seen once said to me, “If my girlfriend would wrap her hand around my cock once in a while and lead me, I would go anywhere, do anything for her and be very happy.” He loved wearing corsets, stockings, and heels. He cleaned house for me when he visited, and he was all man. Flying across the country to visit me, he dressed as a maid and served the dommes at my party because it made him happy to do so. But it also made him happy to have a deep, emotional and intense sexual connection to a woman. This was a man who was gorgeous inside and out, successful at a good job, a nice dresser, kind to animals (he loved his cat and dog), owned his own home, and a loving son to his parents. Yet, his fetish defined him more than anything else when it came to finding a mate to spend his life with. So, he sometimes considered himself a failure because the happiness he wanted with a soul mate eluded him due to his “affliction”. It branded him undesirable for the majority of available females.

Few men can resist the charms of a sexy woman. That's no surprise. But what constitutes sexy can be quite a surprise even if you consider yourself sexually open. I had a regular client for seven years who paid to spend time with me as often as he could. As long as I wore stockings and high heel shoes, he really didn't care what I looked like or what else I did or didn't wear. He was in love with my legs and my bondage skills. He had found a partner who shared the desires his wife could not abide. It completed him. But not without a high price emotionally because he loved his wife, his family and his religion too.

Introduction and Purpose

There is no point to this story. There is no happy ending, no moral, no plot. One thing there is, is honesty. From my point of view, a human story from the inside of something most people will never experience but in all likelihood have been a part of at some point in their lives. It's blunt, gritty, shocking, uncovering layers of facade and sometimes adding a few. Of course the names are not the same, but the events are true. Nothing has been embellished, exaggerated or changed in any way. There are many different worlds out there just the other side of an imaginary line from you. This is one of them.

This is not a tell-all book. Understandably there is a great deal of concern in the BDSM community (mainly the male clients, of course) about being “outed.” If you think men's public behavior leaves something to be desired, you obviously have no idea how hard they work at hiding what they REALLY want to say and do. I may tell what they do and say but never who.

Starting in my forties, I worked as a professional dominatrix for eight years.  It was not a decision made lightly or under duress or with haste.  The gradual process from first stumbling into a BDSM chat room to full fledged professional was both deliberate and intentional at each step, from that very first encounter with a strange and interesting community online.

The intent of this blog is to share my experiences with those individuals interested in the BDSM community out of a desire to learn, connect, understand or share.  It is NOT to judge, degrade or otherwise disparage ANYONE.  I will openly and honestly answer questions and welcome comments, stories and experiences as long as they are without malice.

My entries in this blog will be snippets from my writings on this subject from a truly personal perspective where my main motivation to become a pro domme was understanding human nature, sexuality, men and myself.  (And based on responses to my posts.)

Let the games begin!